


four restless nights (and one with)

by galactoc



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Anger, Canon - Comics, F/M, Fire Lord Zuko, Fire Nation (Avatar), Headcanon, Late Night Conversations, Nightmares, Non-Canon Relationship, One Shot, Post-Avatar: The Last Airbender, Sleep Deprivation, Zuko Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-14
Updated: 2018-01-14
Packaged: 2019-03-01 12:33:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,537
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13294965
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/galactoc/pseuds/galactoc
Summary: "Fire Lord Zuko!" she says, "There's no one here, I can assure you. I've been standing watch here all night."





	four restless nights (and one with)

**Author's Note:**

> recently rewatched avatar the last airbender and fell in love with it all over again. I hadn't watched it since, god, maybe 4 or 5 years ago?  
> anyway, although I do find zuko/suki a cute ship, this was just practice for writing zuko's character. i'm excited to write some zokka and jetko fics, where I explore his character more deeply. but for the meantime enjoy this one!

_i_ _._

She is alone in the silent corridor, a slim, reaching shadow like a night spirit standing guard. While her dreams may wander at times her mind is a finely tuned gadget, restless and focused and calculating. The passion of her will fuels it. Few things ever slip past her.

Suki gives much thought to her duty. She knows guards are always flipped, tricked so easily and discarded of like featherlike obstacles in a criminal's way. Not her, though.  She can't be thrown so easily.

She looks left, and right. Nothing but inky darkness, one that could swallow you whole.

She peers ahead, listening deep in her senses. And-

"Guards!" he explodes out from ruby curtains, hair mussed and expression wild, something animalistic gleaming in his eyes. He steps into a delicate balance, one sturdy enough to root him but fluid enough to strike at any moment.

After a moment of silence and darkness Suki has recovered from her surprise to speak. "Fire Lord Zuko!" she says, "There's no one here, I can assure you. I've been standing watch here all night."

He turns towards her, blinking, regaining focus from his sudden awakening and surge of emotion. "...Suki?"

She feels something for him, this poor boy, roughly her own age, burdened with the weight of leading an entire nation, amongst the constant wave of rebellions, of people who refuse to understand, to accept. People who come and try to slit his throat regardless of the life inside him to believe in something that would ultimately result in their own destruction.

It's not pity she feels, but maybe an understanding. How? She doesn't know. Perhaps from leading the Kyoshi warriors.

Suki sees this all in his eyes. "Go back to sleep," she says, "I wouldn't let anything past me, you know."

"I didn't know you were here," he says dazedly, like it's a dream.

She places a gentle hand on his arm and nudges him back through the curtains. "Go back to sleep."

 

_ii._

He doesn't even bother making a skilled stance and approaching out with all of the years of training buried within him; he just barrels completely through the entryway and looks frantically left to right. 

Zuko doesn't even look awake; he looks halfway in and out of a nightmare, what with the expression lining his usually elegant, stiff features. There's some fear there, along with anger, and a hint of confusion.

Suki doesn't hesitate to place both her hands on his shoulders and look him in the eyes. Someone taught her this, a long time ago... perhaps her mother.

"Breathe in," she inhales deeply, holds it for a few seconds, "Breathe out. Breathe in, breathe out." She nods encouragingly. "It'll calm you down."

The Fire Lord only watches her at first, shifting as if to jerk out of her grasp, before taking a tentative, struggling breath. He follows her movements, breathing in, and breathing out, slowly and carefully. When his breathing has returned to normal she lets go of him.

"I think you might be having night terrors," Suki tells him, "That's why you never get a good night's sleep. How many times has this happened?"

Anger flashes momentarily across Zuko's face before he replaces it with an expression of hopelessness, apologetic somberness. Still a hotheaded prince in his roots. "This past week... it's happened every night."

"Every night? Do you get any sleep at all? You should be well-rested."

"I know, I know," Zuko snaps in annoyance, "The Fire Lord has to be in perfect condition, to lead his people, and-"

"No," she interrupts, " _You_ should be well-rested. It's important for your own mental health. You have people and friends who care about you, Zuko. You know that, right?"

After a few slow moments, he nods.

"Tomorrow, we'll have the herb specialists make something. If only to soothe your nerves."

He nods slowly, as if caught in a dream again, and retreats back inside his quarters. 

 

_iii._

When he exits his curtains the next night he's no longer frantic but in a normal state. "It sort of worked," he says, "I'm not jumping out of here screaming. But I still can't sleep."

"Well, that's alright," says Suki. "It'll take time."

His expression turns closed, shadowed, and he pushes past her. "I'm going to get some water."

The Fire Lord, wandering his halls alone at the dead of night! "Should I accompany you?"

"No. It's not far."

He departs, and Suki stands in her place. It would be wrong to follow him, to spy... but she is a guard. She must protect him. If he were to be assassinated away from his quarters, unaccompanied, unprotected, who's own grievance would that be? The most incompetent guard in the history of guards. Suki thinks of him, barely order than her, but the pressure still unbearable.

In a silent tread of steps she takes off after him.

It's only after he pours a cup of tea for himself and for someone else... she realizes he won't be staying in this tower for too long. From the wall high up above she watches him carry the tray of steaming cups out into the night air...

And into the prisons.

 

_iv._

Suki isn't surprised when the Fire Lord comes out of his room again and looks around the hallway, and then to her. She _is_ surprised when he sits down at the other side of his entryway, in a lotus position. His hair is done up into a rather messy topknot, as if he made a half-hearted effort to look presentable right before coming to talk to a lady. It's an appreciated gesture.

"I fell asleep today," Zuko says, "But a cat-owl hooting woke me up." He laughs, a little, at his own misfortune.

"That's a shame," Suki says, laughing herself. 

A moment of silence. But it's a comfortable one, she notices with a pang. 

"How was your day today, Fire Lord?" she continues. "Save any nations? Rescue the world again?"

He tips his head back. "I wish. It all seems pointless, sometimes, trying to untangle these overblown, complicated conflicts while not upsetting the balance. And when we solve one problem another one comes up, and the world isn’t any better.”

“Zuko,” she says, “You being you makes the world better. You’re a benevolent lord who’s just trying to do the best for his people.”

”A lot of them seem to hate me.”

”There will always be people who hate you. You could be perfect and all-knowing and all-powerful and someone would still hate you. It just can’t be helped.”

”I suppose... you’re right,” he sighs.

After another lapse of silence he says, rather abruptly, “I’m sorry I burned down your village.”

Suki’s eyes widen. “You were a different person then. After we escaped from Boiling Rock I forgave you, Zuko. In fact, I might’ve forgiven you even before that.”

”Well, thank you,” he says, “That’s more than I deserve.”

Then the conversation pauses again, and when she looks over, Zuko is dozing against the wall. 

Suki carries him inside. 

 

_v._

Zuko leaves his room, tension in every line of his body, rendering him a walking corpse. She’d heard about the disaster that took place today, a stinging rebellion that ended in blows and the Fire Lord’s morale crushed.

He ignores her as he leaves.

”Where are you going, Zuko?” she calls after him.

He turns. “It’s _Fire Lord_ Zuko to you,” he replies with venom, and sudden anger flares up within her.

”Visiting your father again?” It escapes her lips before she can stop it.

Zuko’s eyes widen. “How- I- you-“

“Yes, I spied on you when you left,” she spits, “I’m supposed to be guarding you, I couldn’t just let you leave alone at night without at least seeing where you were going.”

”You had no right to spy on me!” Zuko’s familiar anger rises up uncontrollably, voice to a shout and face twisted with rage. “I’m- I’m the Fire Lord!"

He snaps, "I could have you killed for this!”

She takes a step back, face closed, expression wary. His eyes widen as he realizes what he has just said, and the anger is gone- just like that. Dissipated in a sudden whirl of smoke. Zuko’s face closes up and he looks reserved. After a moment of struggled breathing he says, “My father... is the only one who knows how to be Fire Lord. He’s the only one... I can talk to.”

”Wrong,” says Suki gently, “You can talk to me. Talk to your advisors. Your friends. Aang. You can talk to your people. You don’t need your father.”

“But-“

“Your father may have been Fire Lord,” she says, “But you are a greater leader. You don’t need to listen to him. He failed. You won’t.”

”I’m sorry,” Zuko says, “I’m sorry I threatened to kill you. That was... I would never do that. That’s unthinkable.”

”I think,” says Suki, drawing nearer, “You need to relax,” and she tilts his face towards her and kisses him. 

Zuko releases a noise of surprise, but after a second, kisses her back. 

They're careful. Tentative. 

That night when Zuko leaves Suki to watch the door, he falls into a deep sleep.


End file.
